Inappropriate fantasy
QUESTION:
Sex Writer (49-year-old man)I had my first sexual experience very early in life - she was 10 and I was 12. I have fantasized about young girls ever since. I have never acted on these thoughts, and I do not seek out pornography (child or otherwise). I also do not intend to ever act on these ideas.
I do express my thoughts by writing long, in-depth stories about how young girls were spotted, met, and finally seduced. These stories go into great detail, even as far as how to deal with parents, teachers, and friends to ensure I would not be suspected of wrong-doing. I have written a fraudulent daily diary about the little girl next door. This story starts with them moving in and continues through a long sexual relationship. I had also written one fact-based story about my first experience except that I do not mention the fact that I was also a child at the time.
Is this something that needs attention or is it a harmless fantasy I can write about and keep to myself?
ANSWER:
Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., ACS Certified Sexologist
This is one question I would rather not respond to, but it is because of that reluctance that I feel I must. On the one hand, I need to take the position that there is no harm in fantasy...as long as it stays fantasy. I also believe in freedom of expression, but with some restrictions, and your writing certainly raises issues.
You say you have not, as an adult, in fact molested or exploited a minor. You say you have not taken, collected, or shared pictures of minors in sexual situations. You write, but you did not say who reads what you write. You apparently write explicitly about the sexual exploitation of children - however, even without pictures, this is "kiddy porn." This sexual interest in minors is a problem in today's society and even if it is a private fantasy, I worry about you some day crossing boundaries and causing lifelong damage to an innocent child (and they are all innocent).
Do yourself a big favor and consult a qualified professional. Remember, if as an adult you have not actually touched a child, your counseling will remain confidential. Get some help. The world has plenty of room for writers of erotic stories, as long as they do not endorse the exploitation of children.
Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., is a retired sex therapist, now identifying himself as a sexologist and adult sexuality educator. He now devotes his time to writing educational and self-help books for adults.For more information visit: http://www.oralcaress.com/