I am eighteen years old and am sexually active. Recently, he asked me if I wanted to perform anal sex. I am uncomfortable with this because I've never done this before, and I fear it will be painful, to say the least.

I was wondering if there was anything out there to reduce the pain, (if there is any), and whether or not it will be like "The Norm".

Celeste (18 year-old woman)

Anal intercourse is a topic not easily entered into (pun intended). Vaginas are made for entry - when aroused they open a little, relax a little and lubricate a lot. The anal sphincter, on the other hand, is constructed to hold things back, not let things in. It is possible, over time, to learn to relax those muscles, but comfort with anal intercourse is not easily accomplished, even with the help of the required and plentiful artificial lubrication.

Plus, there are a lot of new health issues to deal with. The man must wear a condom ... unless he likes the idea of packing a lot of nasty bacteria up the end of his penis. He cannot take his fingers or penis out of the rectum and get them anywhere near the woman's vagina ... lest she come up with a dozy of a vaginal infection.

Even after some entry has been accomplished, full penetration might not be possible for a while and, for the infrequent practitioner, hard thrusting might not be possible at all. Time, patience, extra lubrication, and a lot of safety precautions can accomplish the act that must, of course, be by mutual consent.

Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., Sexologist & Adult Sexuality Educator